This story is Part Three in a series. To read Part One CLICK HERE.
“Would
you like a shrimp cocktail?” said Mrs. Fitzgerald with a smile as she opened
the front door.
“No thanks,” I replied. I was in the middle of one of my
unsuccessful attempts at being a vegetarian. I stepped into the house and
watched Mrs. Fitzgerald disappear around the corner into the kitchen. She
emerged holding a cracker with a shrimp on it. “See?” she said. “It’s cute,
pink, and swims around in the sea.” Wondering what she thought I said, I took
the hors douveres from her outstretched hand and popped it in my mouth. It was
easier to eat the shrimp than to try and explain. As I chewed, I noticed that
there were two other people in the dining room, sitting and talking with Mr.
Fitzgerald who was wearing pajamas. His wearing bedclothes at home wasn’t
strange, except for the fact that everyone else was dressed-up. Seeing my
puzzlement, she took me to the side and explained quietly that her husband had
been diagnosed with terminal cancer. They had notified relatives and friends so
they could come and visit one last time.
“I’m sorry,” I said, and felt lame as soon as the words
came out of my mouth. What do you say to someone who is about to lose their
husband of 60 years? I picked up the dog leashes, leashed up the girls, and
headed out for the walk.
The next few weeks were a flurry of activity. I didn’t
know anyone had that many friends and relatives, let alone that many friends
and relatives willing to fly in from out of state to say good-bye. After these
visitors came legal advisors to help take care of business, followed by nurses
looking for a hospice job. If the situation wasn’t bad enough, Kelly the dog
had also been diagnosed with cancer. She had been coughing lately and tiring
easily, symptoms we’d chalked up to kennel cough until x-rays revealed cancer
in the lungs. She was going downhill and was reaching a point where she needed
to be put to sleep.
“I can’t bear it,” said Mrs. Fitzgerald. “Not with …
this,” gesturing with a bony hand towards the bedroom where her husband now
spent most of the day. There were tears in her eyes. “I’d just as soon have
them do the surgery, and if she dies on the table…”
“You don’t want to do that to her,” I said gently. Having
gone through lung cancer with my own dog just a year before, I knew all about
it. “The cancer is all over her lungs and there’s no way to remove it. It
wouldn’t be humane. She needs to be put to sleep.” Looking at the sad face of
the old woman before me, I added, “I’ll take her.” She nodded and dabbed her
eyes, moving towards the bedroom as she heard her husband calling. “I’ll see
you tomorrow,” she said.
She rang me up the next morning to say that the
appointment had been made. “You can walk Maggie afterwards,” she said. When I
arrived, she looked like she’d been crying a lot. She stroked Kelly’s soft head
and looked into the old, cloudy, adoring eyes with her own. “Kelly is my 40th
Springer Spaniel,” she said not looking up.
“Really?” I was 25 at the time and the concept of living
long enough to own 40 dogs was foreign to me.
“Yes!” she said, as if I actually didn’t believe her.
“The last two, before these girls, were Susie and May.” With that she walked
into the dining room, opened a cabinet, and started rummaging around a pile of
what looked like scrap books. She selected one, sat down on the couch, and
opened it. The vet appointment was in 20 minutes, but I said nothing, put the
leash down, and sat beside her. The book was stuffed with photos, mostly of
dogs and puppies. “Look at this,” she handed me an old black-and white photo of
Springer puppies in a wire pen. “14 in that litter! Can you believe it? Their
mama was very tired.” I smiled and nodded, looking appreciatively at the photo.
She flipped through a few more pages before finding what she was looking for, a
photo of two smiling dog-faces, those of Susie and May. This was a more recent
photo so was in color. The background looked like the room we were sitting in.
“Aww, look at them,” I said, wondering how so many dogs
of the same breed could look completely different. As she closed the book and
stood up, another, smaller, photo fell out. She didn’t see it fall, so I bent
down and picked it up. It was a black and white photo of a handsome young
couple. Their smiles were genuine, in fact they almost appeared to be laughing.
I assumed it was Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald in their younger days. “Is this you?”
I asked as I handed it to her.
She looked at the picture and squinted her eyes, as if
she had expected to see something else. “My mother,” she said. “I never knew
her. She died when I was a baby.”
Just like me, I thought.
“My father,” she pointed to the dapper man in the photo.
“He died when I was eight.”
At least I still have him, I thought. Looking at the
clock, I realized I had five minutes to get to the vet appointment. I was sure
they’d be patient, as the Fitzgeralds were frequent and well-paying clients,
but I didn’t want to push it. I clipped the leash on Kelly.
“Stay with her,” she said as I went out the door, “and
make sure they give her a tranquilizer.”
“I will.”
At the vet’s office, I stroked Kelly’s face and looked
into her eyes as she was given the injection. She slumped to the table, the
benevolent expression on her face never changing. I continued to stroke her
even after she was gone, lost in my thoughts. The vet, who didn’t have the
greatest bedside manner, said, “Um, we need to put the body away now so we can
get ready for the next client.” I nodded and left, forgiving him for wanting to
get on with his day.
As I drove back to the house to walk
Maggie, I was lost in thought. By the time you’re old, I wondered, how many times
do you have to say good-bye?